Sitting across from her at dinner, I realize that this could be a date and decided to ask her if it was.

"Do you want it to be?" she asks me.

A thought crosses my mind, distracting me from giving a direct answer.

"This is my first date in like five years, and I feel like I've been awful at it, just low energy and not very me." I suppose there's an answer in there for her. Of course, I wanted it to be a date. It was pretty great, aside from my low vibe through most of it.

The night before, I'd just been complaining about my lack of sexual activity and feeling so frustrated about it, and the universe came through saying, "We got you, sis." She did. She had my back in the park after the sun went down, and I was far too cold not to be wrapped up in her. I wanted her to have all of me. I need to remember that intimacy and affection are not the same, and though I can crave both, intimacy is a gift I shouldn't be so willing to give away. I wasn't asked to be intimate, but the affection she showed, the tracing of my face, soft moans that escaped from her mouth as I let my hands explore her body had me ready to open myself up for her in ways I do best.

I'm sliding down a hill with my hands gripping the brake, and I'm so tempted to let go.

i still feel drunk from your touch

i woke up wanting to drink all of you

you know how to quench my thirst