My bedroom is not a sanctuary, but it does provide me with rest and comfort. I look at all of the space I have and feel disappointed at the abundance of emptiness. The last four months have been filled with me laying on my bed and looking out my window watching the world tick by. It’s very much giving Bella Swan in that Twilight scene, you know the one - with her in front of that window.

I wonder how spring will treat me in this new home of mine. It will continue to feel new to me until I’ve experienced all four seasons here, that’s just the way my mind works. I’m looking forward to keeping my windows open and airing out the staleness of the months past. The smell of spring came to me on Monday, very briefly while on a walk. It smelled like heaviness on the brink of release - rain but not exactly petrichor. I understood the smell and related something fierce.

There’s a tree outside my bedroom window. Since moving in, I’ve watched the dead leaves fall from the branches, and for the branches to then be covered with snow. I long to watch the tree blossom, one day at a time. I look to nature to guide me through this life. When the earth freezes, I feel well within my right to do the same. And when the loudness of color demands to be heard from the grass and sky and flowers that bloom, I follow their lead.