I spent time with a friend yesterday, Sunday of all days. It was the third day in a row I had something social lined up, but this didn’t take anything from me. I felt recharged and quiet during our time together. We smoked and watched trash reality TV before doing some shopping near her place. We got matching slippers because they were cute and so are we. My other purchases include a new print, hat and incense that smells like luxury. It felt so good to indulge a little. Before heading back to her apartment, we stopped for drinks at the bar her partner works. Libations finished, we made our way back for more TV and smoking before ordering dinner. We got delivery from this delicious Japanese place, Glaze, so fucking good. She kept her windows open and with the breeze that flowed inside, I couldn’t help but feel at complete ease.

The weekend in its entirety was easy, seeing my friends usually is. I was sure to give myself a bit more space to lounge around and do nothing, too. I watched an entire season of a show in the 48 hours I had off. A League of Their Own on Prime Video was truly the show that my dyke ass needed. It reminded me that I have a perfectly fine pair of rose-colored glasses waiting to be placed back on. I enjoy seeing the world through a softer lens, but not one that’s outside the scope of reality. Watching the emotions evolve on the show was poetic, and I miss the rise and fall of romance.

While at the bar, I told my friend, “I think I’m going to get back out there.” She looked at me, her eyebrows slightly raised. I continue. “Not downloading any apps, though.”

She grimaced and waves her hand, “Girl, no apps!” I go on to tell her why I’m feeling ready now, though I’m sure to clarify, “...I don’t want a relationship, but if I see someone while I’m out and I think they’re cute, I’m not going to stop myself from pursuing that further.” I don’t want anything serious. Casual would be nice. I can do casual. (?)

Fall is fast approaching and with winter just beyond it, I wonder what the colder months will look like. It would be quite nice to have someone soft to wrap myself around, someone who sees me for who I am and wants nothing more and nothing less. Someone to kiss and hold, someone to read to and breathe in, someone to help me forget about the harshness of the cold even if only for a moment. I want so many moments.

Mm. Sweet friend, it’s still only August and I’m getting ahead of myself. I told you that show did something for me.

Until next time.